I'm going to start off by saying that I'm pretty whiny today. I have a little bit of a cold and my muscles ache and my head hurts. Also, just coming off of a stressful weekend full of company, activity and family drama. I'm sure this adds to my general feeling of exhaustion and strong desire to lay in bed with a box of cookies and watch reruns of The OC. But I'm trying to fight it and add something of value to the world, so here goes.
I drug myself out for a run yesterday and had a couple of Oprah ah-ha moments. The first was regarding company coming. I wonder why it is that many of us, myself included, feel the need to completely redo the outward appearance of our lives when company comes? I cleaned and organized and rearranged till midnight! Granted, it did look damn good when I was done. But what was so wrong with everything that I felt the need to change it? Answer? Nothing! My house is not perfect on a daily basis, but it does look OK.
I have 3 kids who are all home for summer vacation. There are toys in the family room. There is sand by the patio. If you look closely there is probably a Popsicle wrapper and a couple of cheerios under the couch. So what? Things are generally clean. The dishes are done and the counters are wiped everyday. Most of the clothes are washed and at least on their way to being hung up. It's all OK. The next time we have company, I'm going to try to resist the urge to think that I have to change to present the perfect image that is in my head. Let you know how that goes.
The other revelation of sorts is a little harder to completely wrap my head around. We've all heard the phrase "you are enough". I think yesterday it actually resonated and sunk into my consciousness a bit. As I was running (awkwardly & slowly btw) I thought, "why not me"? There is no magic that anyone else has that I do not posses within myself as well. The only thing that stands in my way is the limitations that I put on myself. This is true of running, true of work, true of relationships. It is true for all of us. Get out of your own way and see where you can go...